Back in december last year I publish a post called university, about why I decided to take a gap year. And now I kind of feel I need to do an update on that, so here I am :)
So what has changed since that first post?
I got and quitted my first job. I'm slightly more certain of my passions. Started swimming lessons and also driving theory classes. Started to learn I should do what I like.
I'm so glad I decided to take the year off. And this year so far I met new places and new people but especially learned more about me. It's been a year of self-growth.
Considering all my options, I realized that uni is not something I want so I'm not going to be a university student either this year. And I guess that's ok, but I avoid talking about that since people are kind of forcing me to go to uni with the justification 'because you should', although I've already said I'm not. It seems I have to come up with an instant plan if I'm not going to university. People seem sad because I was a great student and should use the grades I had and go to uni. Or worse, assuming I don't like learning or that I want nothing from life. And in the way they are approaching me, they also seem really concerned about taking charge of my life. Showing no interest in respecting what I want and listening what I've got to say.
It would be really nice, if instead of attacking me - that's really what I feel when the topic uni comes up - they asked me for instance if I'm happy with this decision, asked why I choose not going or really just even listening and giving me the space to share my thoughts would be great.
I want to do more decisions based on my own wants because I really realized that 'what's right for one person isn't necessarily best for another'. And there are so many more options I want to try and just thinking about them gets me super excited. Totally the opposite of imagining myself at uni.
I'm not saying university wouldn't benefit me in any way, there's really not the case. I know about lots of people that say that their best years were in university, loved their courses and felt that they wanted to work in a certain area for the rest of their lives. And obviously there's nothing wrong with that, but there's also nothing wrong feeling you don't fit into that category.
Could university be a good experience? Of course it could, but what I decide to do instead could be an even better experience. It's a matter of choice and uni is not my choice for now.
I've been learning that there's nothing wrong with not pursuing the same path that someone else does and following my gut. That being a huge unexpected thing for me, because I'm the kind of person that always tend to do a lot of thinking, feeling the need to have everything figured out and know exactly what to expect. So at this moment, it's feels really good allowing myself to let go part of that and be more opened to not having a "proper" plan or not knowing all the answers. It's so flipping scary, but I'm kind of liking this uncertainty because I'm realizing there's a universe of opportunities.
I truly want to experience all this world around me and I really don't think I'm going to do that sitting in a room trying to get grades that don't show nothing about me and the actual world or how to live out there.
So the answer to what do I want to do? I'm creating it and I'm truly content doing it
Lots of hugs, A
